Blargity Blarg Blarg

So I resisted (still resisting and craving) a milkshake today. It makes me so sad. But I had other bad stuff that Im going to the gym for in a few. So I have lost 5 lbs! Which is exciting to me. I know its nothing impressive but its a start. Frikken Mark has already lost 19.6lbs! Isnt that amazing? Almost 20lbs!! My arms still look terrible. :( And Carol and I went to 3 different mall/shopping outlets, but I didnt buy anything because my chest is so frikken big and everything is made for skinny people with no boobs >:( Which I guess is good, because they should encourage people to be bigger....

And there's so many cute clothes that I want to buy and wear and prance around in! One day. One day, I keep telling myself. We went to a high end outlet, this one store had this cute pair of panties, for $98. Cotton panties. Seriously.

So, moneywise, we still in a hole. Mark says everything will get better now that he has a job and can start working again. But still we only have $400 extra to but towards his bills, (it will be $600 once I pay mine off). But its going to take almost a year and thats if we dont do anything big, which we are....plane tickets, Otakon, etc. Sigh.

Also, Mark....and I(resisting and crying all the way) have decided that me going to massage school in the fall might not be the best of ideas. Mainly because it will put another strain on our little bit of money and the debt will take longer to be paid off.

So I suggested we move back to MD, which would be awesome. But it would consume money. I kinda feel like there is no point in us being here now, except Matt and Carol. And Texas is a better state than MD overall. We drove by Lake Austin today and I started crying because I thought about all my friends back home and how we used to go swimming in the rapids. Im really trying to adjust here, but its so hard. Im not clicking with anyone the way I did in MD. Carol is the only person who actually talks to me fairly regularly and that I hang out with. I hang out with Amanda at work and we go to the ranch and take care of the horses and we're planning on working out together. And then theres Ryan who I can be super nerdy with, which makes me happy! Mark just doesnt understand pokemon like Ryan does, hehe.

So I dont know, its not like I have to rush about making a decision. Mark doesnt want to leave, he doesnt want to go back to MD. TX is better, but Im so frikken homesick. I miss my mom and dad.

Sigh, well Ill be home in a few weeks for a visit. We'll see if it does more good than bad. Shrug. Im not gonna re-read this yet, the boys are yelling to go work out....Ill edit later, sorry if something doesnt make sense. Good night all.